french in, french out

For a good chunk of my life, I have been avoiding French like the plague. What kind of good Christian girl would I be if my tongue let slip in moments of heated exasperation?

By French in this case, I mean expletives.

Maybe I should use a small f so as not to be rude. France is a beautiful place with a difficult but tasty language. I can pull some serious kikuyu vibes when practicing the tongue.

The likes of: “My father, she said,” and then “He came!” Who? They ask. “My mother!” (I used a small k so be easy. Luhyas have been the brunt of several jokes too).

Anyway, I try and keep my tongue clean, but once it gets into your ear, your body needs to do something with it. We are after all created in such a way that EVERYTHING that goes in, comes out. So when good things go in, good things come out and when bad things go in, they just come out…

I have learnt that the best way to keep it down is to limit what goes in. Then you can enjoy shows like Ray Donovan and Survivor’s Remorse without feeling as if you are losing out on your goal.

I am curious though; do African Americans really all speak like that? Stars, hashtags and asterisks all around? I haven’t met too many in my life to be able to make a personal judgment. For all I know it could be a case of “waiting for the flies to land on the little African child’s mouth”. Can somebody tell me? Or does it just look good on camera? The way actors supposedly from Africa need to emphasise the “A’s” and “O’s” and “T’s” to make it sound real.

Maybe these expletives are responsible for the deterioration of the English language. They are used, I believe, to express depth of emotion in one seamless unpleasant word? Haha. They even come in softer versions like fudge or front door. (Insert in sentence in place of an expletive to understand).

If this is also one of your short term goals, I shall be sure to let you know any other tips and tricks you can employ in your favour. Aside from the process of elimination above. As you were.

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